PSL | voicetesting?

[franchisepirate]

What I'm doing with this, I have no idea.

Links for various muses:

™ Westley | The Princess Bride | random encounters

♥ Saya Otonashi | Blood+ | newly hatched (recycled from older musebox)

♣ Saya Otonashi | Blood+/AU-ish | hunting

♠ Cross Marian | D.Gray-Man/AU-ish | suspicious circumstances (given his recent game history)

♦ Penelope Garcia | Criminal Minds | deserted hotel

∉ Zelgadis Greywars | Slayers | nothing to swipe

∈ Zelgadis Greywars | Slayers | underground wraith fight (yes seriously)

♛ Carol Peletier | The Walking Dead | child walkers (...yep)

∅ Xellos | Slayers | PESTERING YOU ♥

Comments

[dum_spiro]

[ Such an obvious question, she'd swear she had the perfect answer a moment ago, something that would both send him on his way and stop her from giving a damn about that, but it's gone. Whatever he knows, or doesn't, about Karen and David, what Rick said to her, it doesn't seem as relevant as it should. Maybe it would be easier not knowing him as she does; running being a worse crime, perhaps, than maybe-justified murder of their own. ]

[ Carol should have managed to harden her heart as she promised herself, that say when she took a load of supplies and the opposite path from everything she had left to care about, but this won't be the first time she's failed at that. A long history of doing the wrong thing has yet to teach her much except the cruelty of self-preservation. ]

...I don't know, [ is the pitiful reply she finally admits to. The plain truth. Lying to him just isn't possible in the end, however tempting self-delusion sounds. If he's going to be pissed, well, that will make this easier. ]

[worn_wings]

[ He knows enough, and knows too that it doesn't matter. Maybe it would've mattered some but now-- now, after all these crumbling walls and fires and the things they've seen-- not even a little goddamn bit. When they get back-- he tells himself it's as easy as that, not a question, that he'll get her and they will find the others-- he can't imagine Rick will object.

You can't say what would have been but Daryl wouldn't have taken it easy in any world. Doesn't matter whether he agrees with what she did-- he sure as hell doesn't but he sees it, he's seen enough of how that flu tore through their people to understand why she did it. By habit he rarely argues with Rick but he was fixed to fight on this one before things fell apart. ]

So come back,

[ he says, like it's easy, knowing it's not that easy. But what else is there? Where the hell is she going to go?

If she's running maybe she could run to something rather than away with something.

He means to be calm about this-- the unnatural stillness of this moment could go any way at all, and he doesn't want to be the one to set the tone with rage or hurt or anything-- but he can't help the little crack in his voice on the last word. A word that can't be home because there's no such thing, can't be with us because he won't for a second entertain the notion that us doesn't inherently include her.

But at the same time he can't pretend it's not personal. He's not breaking inside, a little, because he thinks Rick needs her or because she's so good with Judith or because the kids look up to her. Come back to me. Come back with me.]

[failed_antichrist]

[Safe? She felt safe with him? And that was the only time she felt that way? Setsuna has no words to handle that revelation. He at least shuts his mouth for a bit and listens to her words. Even then, he remains confused.]

I don't think giving me up is the right thing to do. You'd just be giving them everything they want and letting them control you. That's not living.

[It's a good thing she didn't say Hatter, because as far as Setsuna's concerned, that one really didn't count.]

[He rushes to her side. Setsuna could care less if he drowns. He'll do it gladly, and make the choice to do so without a second thought.]

Saya! What's wrong? [A beat.] Haven't you fed lately?

[sangreine]

[That he knows what she's grappling with is somehow worse, because of course he'll offer, and she hasn't the strength to deny him. Maybe never has had it. Instead of shoving him off as she should, for both their sakes, she collapses against him, clinging. Why does everything have to be like this?]

[Doing the right thing would be the coldest possible comfort, and maybe she's just too selfish.]

You're -- such an idiot, [is what she finally says, her voice muffled in his chest. Telling him to just go away never works, because she can never bring herself to say the only thing that would work, a horrific lie that somehow feels more honorable than the truth.] They'll find a way to kill you just to break me. Or kill anyone who means anything to you. [Or they'll use me to do it, she can't manage to say. That would be, after all, the ultimate vengeance.]

I'm not worth it, Setsuna. [Part of her begs him to just take the out she's dangling, because even if it will break her anyway, at least it would be for some good. The rest of her clutches at his shirt and doesn't know how she'd ever let go.]

[failed_antichrist]

[Setsuna laughs a little as he strokes Saya's hair.]

I know I am. [Telling him to go away also wouldn't work because he's stubborn. He keeps coming back, even when Kira suggests Saya might not be the best for him. None of those words matter when she's holding onto him like this. The unspoken desperation worries him. He'd just wonder why she always wants to deny herself the things she obviously wants.]

[Oh right. The killing part. Yeah, that might have something to do with it.]

You are. [Those words he says with reverence, voice gentle. The next part he grins for.]

Besides, I don't stay dead long.

[sangreine]

[ Might have something to do with it, yes. Claiming he won't be dead for long isn't the comfort he might have thought; whether he returns or not, Saya wouldn't be the same. Even recalling his once-upon-a-time casually mentioning that he had died makes something twist inside her, despite that she heard it from his own lips, despite the way his arms are solid around her. If it happened because of her there would be no going back, not as overeager as she always is to sink into self blame. ]

[ If he could look inside her head right now, put a visual to her clumsy words, she thinks it might change his mind. He's offering comfort, and she only sees torment. And then there's the not inconsequential fact that it's taking a great deal of willpower not to tear his throat open. ]

Why? [ is all she manages to say, squeezing her flaring eyes closed and biting the inside of her cheek to keep everything else inside. Whichever part he assumes she's asking about will suffice, but she's specifically wondering if it's because Setsuna still sees her as the helpless hatching who needed him so desperately -- but then, given how she's close to raking open his shirt with her grip, perhaps she hasn't changed so much as she wants to believe. ]

[failed_antichrist]

[If he still mistakenly sees her the hatchling he first met, that's part because he likes having someone to care for. The other part is first impressions. He can move with the changes, though.]

Because the thought of being away from you hurts. Because I can't just leave you. Not like this.

Because I care. [And there is no why for that, he just does.]

[sangreine]

[ They've been over how stupid that makes him, so she won't belabor the point, but refuses to concede it. Just as loving him as she does won't make any difference in the end, neither will his stubborn determination to stick by her. ]

[ She does consider, just for a moment, confessing some awful truths: her memories of senseless, freefalling slaughter, about what happened with Karl, twice over, and once without even the excuse of a curse. It would be cruel, but that's the point. It would hurt him; that's also the point.
She can't manage it. Such a coward. ]

It won't last. It never does. [ Just -- that warning, her voice barely a whisper as though speaking the words makes it any more true. In the end he'll be gone, or he'll hate her, or she'll sleep for decades and wake with only a pleasant void where his memory should be. It always happens that way. ]

[ She takes a breath, as if to say more, but her hunger crashes through her, eyes blaring red, and she frees a hand to cover her mouth. Some part of her knows he's about to offer his blood to her anyway, and she tries hard to remember how sickening that should feel.

[failed_antichrist]

[He's so accustomed to being called stupid at this point, it wouldn't do any good to repeat, or say it once, or say it differently. He barely registers the fact any longer, and definitely doesn't care.]

[Cruelty gives him pause, would be effective, for a short time. But it never lasts.]

[There's a soft laugh.]

Nothing lasts, Saya. That's why you gotta enjoy it when you get the chance. That's why I live the way I do. Why I'm gonna stick by you, as long as you let me.

[sangreine]

[ Nothing lasts sends her thoughts straight to Haji, her Haji, the shade of him she cut down while his true self flashed in her mind. That brief glimpse held more meaning than the whole of her memories since waking in the City, and if she weren't busy trying not to rent Setsuna's neck open she might have said so just to prove him wrong, a tinge of that cruelty that's still flitting around her head. Some things do last -- but not the two of them. ]

[ And if what he says is true, then she should do as she likes. If either of them are left wanting in the end, as they assuredly will, it's not her that's making it inevitable. ]

[ This is where she should ask, her voice weak and pitiful, for permission to drink his blood, the bare minimum of proper behavior. Whether past caring or taking his words as implicit permission, she doesn't bother, just releases his shirt to grab a handful of his hair to bear his throat while her glowing red eyes bore into his, looking directly at him for once. He'll have half a moment to stop her, but short of a dramatic intervention she simply takes what she needs, fangs first, entirely lacking the hesitation she'd shown in the past. ]

[failed_antichrist]

[Nothing lasts, even the things he wishes would. Or the things he wants to make last forever. So instead of worrying about it, he tries to forget about that part. It never occurs to him what his own cruelty is. How his lack of consideration can affect others. Even now, as he's improved and tries to think first, he still lets his mouth do more damage than he could ever make up for, and more than he could ever physically inflict.]

[As far as Setsuna's concerned, his earlier words were a blanket permission. He's too simple to worry about much else. Setsuna tilts his head, giving his neck willingly to Saya.]

[He does notice the difference, not despite being unobservant, but because he observes everything Saya does, and is well aware of how her feeding usually feels. This is hurried, desperate, and Setsuna attributes that to how hungry she must be. It pangs him to think of how long she must have gone without a meal.]

Saya...I'm so sorry.

[conglomeration]

[ He'll claim until he's dust that he's too busy gathering more power to reply, being scolded about this is a bit too close to the quick for his liking, and there's no point to arguing with Lina under the best of circumstances, which these are decidedly not. And, he has to admit, at least inside his own head and nowhere else, she's not wrong. ]

[ Doesn't mean he's about to admit it to anyone, though. No one could ever accuse him of being anything but hard-headed, in all sense of the word. Besides, they'll be fine. If they can't manage themselves one of them will blast through the two dozen layers of rock and sediment above them and get them both some breathing room and a convenient cave-in (not that it's anyone's first choice for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is the potential for forbidden magic once they douse the wraiths). ]

Vice Flare [ he tries instead, hoping a souped-up fire spell will at least make a dent. If nothing else it'll hit a lot of them at once. ]

[ A burst of flame and sound hits the center of the mass of ghouls and most of them go down in a mass of shrieking and foul smoke. The walls around them rumble and sprinkle centuries of dust down on them, but the ceiling seems to be holding (he'll claim he was completely sure it would, and will never admit to being relieved.) ]

[ Hopefully Lina can manage for a second, he has to focus enough for another one and if he overpowers it they'll be ghosts themselves. At least if she accuses him of being reckless, he's got literal years of ammunition to bite back. ]

[sangreine]

[ His apology bothers her, his obedience bothers her, so much that she's forced to question her insistence upon being bothered. It's easier, certainly, but not what she wants (isn't it?). Setsuna isn't Haji (for what very little she knows of him), isn't like anyone else within her shallow memory, and there's a reason she keeps drifting towards him despite the riptide that should yank her away. At some point it's more than the current forcing her hand. ]

[ It doesn't help that drinking his blood is -- soothing. Easy, in all the ways it shouldn't be. Saya tries to remember that it's not just her, that Setsuna has a way that should draw in broken things like herself, but somewhere between gulping down his blood and shuddering against him the thought escapes her. ]

[ He's correct that this isn't like her other feedings, and when she's done there's a void where shame or avarice should be, her mind filling the space with the only thing left: gratitude. So easy, in these weak moments, to remember why she loves him, to believe that, against every better piece of her, that those feelings could be enough, to expand her delusional little bubble one more moment, one more day. She pulls her mouth away before the punctures close, using the blood dripping down his shoulder, the few tears she allows herself mingling in the blood trails, hoping he won't notice. ]

Don't apologize, [ she finally says, still against him, voice steady and eyes already drying. ] I can't tell you to go away properly when you're being so -- Setsuna. [ She smiles a little, at last, dryly. Damn persistent angel. ]

[dragonslaving]

[Scolding is all she can do, though. Hitting Zelgadis never ends well for her, and seems to cause him little agony. When he stops enabling her reasons to keep going, though, she at least lets it drop, for now. Lina can't argue the situation they're in is more dire and needs immediate attention over whatever annoyances she has.]

[Blasting through and causing a cave-in is a big reason Lina is holding back. She wants out, not suffocation. And there's a high chance of the wraiths getting free, as well. Causing a much larger scale event that will be harder to contain. Otherwise, well, big explosions are her first choice. She has experience here that makes her pause, for a change.]

[Between a couple of smaller spells, she looks over at Zel's fire spell, and nods when he stops, clearly focusing. Now that she's not chiding him, she's more serious about finishing this off.]

[She Raywings to his side, ready at his back with no words necessary.]

[And since they're on fire spells -]

Flare Arrow! [A few of those to keep the wraiths at bay.

[failed_antichrist]

[He isn't the type to be obedient, ever the rebel, but it's different when it comes to those he loves, the ones he respects. He also likes to care for people, protect them. He feels he has failed Saya there, more than once already. ]

I'm apologizing because I should've found you sooner.

[It's that simple to him. It's his fault if he didn't get there in time. Maybe she wouldn't already be this hungry if he had found her earlier.]

Why...why do you want to tell me to go away? [A little more firmly.] I'm not gonna. You know that, right?

[sangreine]

[ Saya pulls back to look at him, her eyes human-seeming once again. Whether it's stubbornness or a fool's hope, he hasn't, or won't, heard the reasons she offered, and there's only so many hearts she has to pour out. She's told him they will end badly, and he won't accept it, and it's terribly endearing. She was never built to be as alone as she deserves. ]

[ It's wrong of her to want someone beside her as her life goes down in flames, yet she does. ]

[ Reaching out, she brushes his hair behind his ear, a gesture they've traded since he found her at the Zoo. ] I know. But I don't want to keep hurting you, [ or myself ] and I think that's all I can ever do. [ So just -- remember, when it all goes bad, that she tried. ]

[conglomeration]

[ He'd been several large spells into this fight when Lina showed up so it's a very good thing she moves closer, gathering more power takes a few moments longer than is typical, leaves him more vulnerable than is comfortable (not that any amount is fine with him). Another astral shadow spell catches the rest of them, freezes them where they stand, followed moments later by another power-enhanced combination of fire and concussive force which rattles the tunnel and, thankfully, sends the wraiths on their merry way. ]

[ Swearing softly, Zelgadis falls to a knee and splays one hand on the wall as he catches his breath. See, he can do it without a Priestess at his beck and call! ...Even if it would have been more convenient not to tire himself out like that. He leaves the enchantment on his sword active in case a straggler is about to come screeching down the corridor, which has happened to him too many times to count. ]

Thanks, [ he finally says, because yeah that would have been rough without some help. ]

[failed_antichrist]

[To him, all of Sara's reasoning doesn't change any of it. He's a fool. Even now, Setsuna still believes they might change things, or be able to overcome reality. He's too used to that working.]

[And Setsuna thinks exactly the opposite, that it's only natural to want someone beside her, that it's right. That him being by her is right.]

[His lips curl up at the feel of her fingers, and he reaches over to do the same in return.]

But people always hurt each other, even unintentionally. That's part of having relationships. It's not about not hurting people. It's about how to deal with it, and making up for it after.

[sangreine]

[ That is a truly ridiculous argument when dealing with an immortal Chiropteran Queen and her unending blood war, Setsuna. Even for you. But because it's him, because of all he means to her, because when he touches her like that it dredges up the few precious memories which don't horrify her, and a little because she knows it will do no good whatsoever to argue, she won't. Not this time. ]

[ Her head tips toward him, not quite at her behest, her forehead resting lightly against his. Knowing this is a terrible idea isn't, evidently, enough to tame her pitiful, selfish desire to keep him close. ]

Then, I guess I'll let you make it up to me. [ It's intended almost as a joke, truly it should be the reverse, but it'll just set off his righteous selflessness again, and he's said enough for her to justify herself. A dangerous habit he has, that. ]

[dragonslaving]

Good job, Zel! [She smacks his back in appreciation, only to wince. Right. That's why she doesn't pay Zelgadis' back. Right.... There is no way she's going to relent about Amelia and admit Zel didn't need her after all, no. She's still right!]

Aww, and even a thank you. You're so good to me. [She's implying, of course, good enough he's letting her keep the sword.]

[failed_antichrist]

[Setsuna can be very stubborn, exhaustively so. To the point he will argue endlessly with an immortal Chiropteran Queen, with all the danger she can bring to him.]

[Gently, he rubs his forehead against Saya's, eyes closed for a second, before he brightly smiles.]

I'll make it up to you. Whatever you need. [His tone is soft and amused, but there's still sincerity to his words.]

Did you get enough blood?

[sangreine]

[ Another foolish thing to say, not only because she could take such advantage of that in the wrong frame of mind, but because it reminds her of another time where she drank from him, all too willingly: You can have all my blood. I'm completely yours and yours alone right now., he'd said, and she'd wanted nothing more than for that to be true. Some part of her still wants that, even if it could never be. ]

I don't need blood, [ she says, her voice finally softening. If he wanted her to open to whatever he's offering, mission accomplished. They'll both regret it in the end. But she's no longer going to fight him; she fights too often, too long, to exhaustion and beyond, and she hates it. ]

[failed_antichrist]

[Even if there were outstanding situations that slipped in and out of their attempt at some sort of relationship, Setsuna certainly meant those words when he said them, felt them to his heart.]

What do you need? [He just never thinks before he speaks. Lives too much in the moment to think about how his past with Sara might affect Saya.]

Whatever it is. It's yours.

[sangreine]

[ It's not Sara (well, it is, but not in the way he might suppose); as she said, it's her. Her twisted life, her blood war, her sick but undeniable bond with Diva and her henchmen. Her darkness, which would all too gladly devour his light. ]

[ She doesn't care right now, even a little. ]

You're going to make me ask? [ She looks up at him, wide open for once, everything she feels for him shining in her eyes. C'mon Setsuna, even you aren't this naïve. ]

[failed_antichrist]

[And Setsuna never considers any of that, nor does he care. He knows about most of those things, but it's changed nothing. Not the way he feels about her, or how he sees Saya.]

[He is pretty naive, but in this case, he's hoping what she wants is what he wants right then.]

I'm not gonna make you do anything. [He leans in close to press his lips to Saya's.]